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Advocating For You

Can sharing a bed with your spouse be bad for your marriage?

Sharing the same bed with your spouse may seem like an obvious ingredient for a happy marriage. Sleeping side by side creates intimacy and companionship. It provides opportunity for romance as well as the comfort of a good snuggle.

The benefits of spending each night beside your partner may seem like a no-brainer. It’s how the media portrays all stable married couples. In fact, many couples would consider the prospect of sleeping separately as a red flag for their marriage.

However, this is not always the case. In fact, some marriages improve when couples opt to spend the night in separate quarters. In today’s post, we examine why maintaining separate bedrooms may be just what your marriage needs.

Different sleep styles

Everyone has their own sleeping needs. Maybe you’re a light sleeper, and your partner keeps you up most of the night, snoring. You may like to hit the hay early, and your partner wakes you when they come to bed hours later. Or perhaps you and your spouse have different sleep preferences: you like a completely dark, cool bedroom, while your spouse prefers to sleep in a warmer space with a night light. All of these differences can lead to at least one of you sleeping poorly—which has a ripple effect on many aspects of your life.

Consequences of a bad night’s sleep

Whether you don’t sleep long enough or you’re awakened throughout the night, you’re not getting sufficient rest. This makes you irritable and tired. It’s harder for you to concentrate. You get annoyed over your limited productivity—and you become resentful towards your partner for preventing you from getting the rest you need. Over time, this dynamic can be damaging to your marriage.

If you notice that your relationship with your spouse has suffered due to sleep deprivation, you might consider giving separate bedrooms a try. With some solid Zs under your belt, you can approach the day with gusto. You’ll have more love, energy and compassion to share with your partner.