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Advocating For You

Is this your first post-divorce holiday season?

| Dec 4, 2019 | Uncategorized

Like many people in Texas, you probably recently celebrated Thanksgiving and are now gearing up for the 2019 holiday season. Perhaps, you’re the type of person who likes to decorate early on so that you can enjoy the sights and sounds of Christmas throughout the entire month of December. Do you have steadfast family traditions that are part of your holiday joy every year? Maybe your family likes to try new customs each year.

Either way, if you happen to be among those who are currently navigating divorce, you might be a bit worried about how the new family dynamic will affect your children’s holiday spirit. The good news is that there are several proactive ways to keep holiday stress to a minimum when you and your co-parent are searching for a new normal in your relationship. 

You can celebrate on any day

One of the most helpful tips to remember to keep post-divorce holiday stress at bay is that you and your children do not necessarily have to celebrate a special occasion on its actual calendar date. If you know ahead of time that your kids will spending time at their other parent’s house that day, you can arrange a celebration in your own household before they go or upon their return.

The date of a particular celebration is not as crucial as the fact that you and your kids have the opportunity to spend time together enjoying the holidays as well as sharing old, favorite customs or starting new ones.

Kids need access to both parents at all times

If your children will be spending the holidays with you, you can avoid causing your ex ill feelings by making sure your kids have access to a cell phone, electronic tablet or computer so that they can touch base with him or her. FaceTime and other apps make virtual visits possible, which is the next best thing when a parent cannot be with his or her children in person.

On the flip side, if it’s not your turn to stay with your children on a holiday, you can speak with your ex ahead of time to let him or her know you’ll be calling at a certain time or wanting to chat online or text your kids so you can hear about the festivities they’ve been enjoying. If your ex should try to impede your ability to stay in contact with your children, that may be a legal problem you’d want to resolve right away.

Remember that your children love both parents

No matter what type of marital issues may have led to your decision to file for divorce in a Texas court, it’s helpful, especially during the holidays, to remember that your children want to be loyal to both of their parents. You might consider helping them choose a gift for your ex or baking some cookies, etc., so they don’t arrive for a holiday celebration empty handed.

While it may be a fact that you and your ex don’t get along, your children will no doubt fare better as they navigate their first and future post-divorce holiday seasons if they believe you and your co-parent are willing to work together for their sake. Another aspect that can help is that you acknowledge the fact that they love both of you and you respect each other as co-parents although you no longer wish to be married to each other.