Helping your children get used to the idea of splitting their time between your home and your ex’s will take time and patience. Depending on your custody arrangement, your children could switch between homes as often as every week.
Creating a situation where your children look forward to visiting each parent and feel comfortable in both homes should take precedence above anything else.
Familiarity and consistency
Your children will need to adjust to living in a new place during the first few visits to the parent who moved. According to Solo Parenting Magazine, you and your ex should strive for some consistency between households.
One suggestion is to ask your children which valuables they want to take each time they switch between homes. Before a transition, make sure your children have everything on their list to prevent discord and emotional breakdowns. Examples of what your children may take in this bag include hobbies, a special stuffed animal and their phone.
Enthusiasm and civility
Your children may feel understandably apprehensive during the first few transitions. They may sense the tension between you and your ex. One way that you can ease these uncomfortable feelings is to speak of their visit to the other parent with enthusiasm and interest. Ask your children what activities they look forward to. When they see your excitement, they too may feel more optimistic about having a good visit.
Refrain from speaking negatively about your ex in front of your children. Strive to put disagreements to the side when in the same place as your children. Do your best to coordinate an unrushed and cordial drop-off or pick-up to help your children feel comfortable about the situation.